“I Love you for your Intelligence,
your Temperament,
the way you Carry yourself,
and your Elephant Memory.”

…what a lovely picture he paints of me today.

After seeing Ibicui, our vision of the future began to
formulate for both of us.
Our number one priority became Happiness, and once
we had seen what we could build upon, what we could
create living in peace, and with our love for eachother,
well, our ideas just fell into place.

“Journal, March 1, 2005

I am engaged. We proposed to eachother today, before we
went out to see the city…we have at last Said the Words,
taken the giant step of faith and truth.
We just can’t decide if I should be Carol Souza, or
he Alcir Williams…hahahaa!
He likes the sound of it, and the custom of incorporating
eachother’s names into the other is certainly
amusing at the least.

“I can’t believe it…I’m getting married again!”, he thrilled
to me.  “Are we going to Die together?
Is this going to be IT?”

We are going to get a place in Ibicui.  A place with a nice
big backyard.
He will get a little boat, and run tours on the weekends.
His heaven!

He wants to make one of those big barbeques using a
trash can, and we can go to town, get big cashes of chicken
and beef, and have Barbeques in our backyard on the
weekends… and sell to the tourists and locals.

He can make soups, and I breads…
The tourists come every weekend, so there you have it.
I could even sell my jewelry from a cart on the beach.
Here, it’s all like the sixties, things easy and local,
and not all the regulations and limitations.

We can take foods to parties…
As well, we can scout around for things to Export …
On our trips we saw so many beautiful things that would
fill a container bound for the US.
Fantastic carvings, large ship models, little tables
and chairs sets…
Amazing precious hardwood chairs, the designs are
brilliant, and the exchange is so excellent right now.”

The ideas were immense, and flowing.  So many possibilities.

Journal continues…

“She shook her proverbial head, her mind reeling with
the truths of the moment.
Where had she been but four months ago?

Her birthday was a good, but sad relief from the efforts
of a year and a half of trying to make it work with the
son, out in the woods she loved.
A month of complete breakdown, sadness…and then
…the Dec 7th connection.

And now… to be married …the Fiancee…
the Intended…!
Still there were big questions for her,
especially regards the consumption of alcohol..

It was seeming that he would rather get wasted than make love…
over the past three weeks, she could likely count the
number of actual encounters on little over one hand, maybe…
this reality puzzled her… He was a sexy and sexual man.
And yet, it was not a priority, and getting Drunk was.

She had never known anyone who could drink the quantities
that he could, and every night.
If this was the reality ongoing, there would be trouble.

“Your drinking is your business…how it affects me
is My business.” she said.  ” I’m concerned with your health,
and that’s what really worries me.”

The problem for her was that she was already committed.
He was the man she had wanted, and no one would ever be able
to touch this place in her heart…

So it was a done deal.  The had to solve the quandary of
this terrible addiction that had hurt her so many times before…

It wasn’t that she didn’t understand… she did,
and all too well… it’s just that it was
a Now What…? situation.