… the we of it …

The islands have always been good to me.
From the first breath I took when in 1987 I visited for
the first time…flowers suspended in moist clear air…
I knew I was home.  It was the Garden.

The body knew too, and health and peaceful days always
followed me there, even when Hurricane Iniki in 1992
included me, and devastated Kauai…. still it was all a gift.

This time, in the summer of 2005, was no different.
Things fell into place, and the inundation of nature only
proceeded to lead me to the core, to the very soul of my
existence, and my heart, mind and body followed.

By being on my own path, separating myself from the
attachment I was feeling for Alcir and our life together,
my vision cleared, and I knew what I wanted in my life
besides him.
I could see clearly what was him and what was me….
…and isn’t this something that is Always needed
in a relationship?
We All need our Man Cave, so to speak, and it needs to
be OK to want that, and to take that…. for Each of us.

There is no judgement here.  We each have our path, and
things we must do, promises to ourselves that we must keep.
The problem is our expectations, and our programming,
particularly when it comes to relationships.

We have been told that when you are in love, you blend,
merge, combine, and fall into roles that have worked for
millennia….  but is this truth?

Respect for self and other demands the together
AND the Apart…

And because of these histories, teachings, beliefs and
outdated roles, we are caught in guilt and confusion.
The options are not made clear to ourselves, or to society
as a whole, and so we bang our heads against these walls,
while trying against hope to fit between them.

When it doesn’t fit, doesn’t feel good, isn’t working like
we Think it should, it falls apart or blows up.
But shouldn’t we be Creating other ways of being with another?
And shouldn’t this creative endeavor be a Good Thing,
even a commendable one?

This is what I was thinking about, and had been thinking
about for many years.
And this is the gift that the islands gave to me….

Space to create anew…..







6 thoughts on “… the we of it …

  1. We have been told that when you are in love, you blend,
    merge, combine, and fall into roles that have worked for
    millennia…. but is this truth?

    For some the answer is yes. 🙂 sadly not for all 😦

  2. Yes indeed it is true that the roles work for some, not for others. OR they work for a while, for instance when there are children to be raised, and the man is a good bread winner. But what if it’s the woman who makes the money? What when the children are grown? What if there are no children at all? And as people live longer, how long do these roles stay valid, even for those for whom they once worked?

    • laura says:

      I have often wondered that myself, mating for life used to be for a much shorter period of time. According to my mother the Scottish (my ancestors) used to believe that not all relationships are meant to last for life and there was no shame if it ends. I can only assume this was the belief prior to the christian conversion of the Scots.

      • Ah yes, those Christians again. Male domination… keep the little woman at home. As we live longer, and women have the choice to have or have not children, Everything changes!

  3. Sylvia McRae says:

    Love this one, resonates on so many levels. Hawaii is the home of my spirit as well…. I have a similar experience whenever I go there. My island of choice is Maui.

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