… it had been nine years …

“I would like to hear your voice again !
My Skype is *********
my Number in Norway is **************
I will call you back at my expense !
I am during something that i want you to be part of it !
PS: Does my accent is so ridiculous or is that the interpretation of
a woman that still in love ? ……………..Alcir”

Thus came the email out of nowhere….
It is dated 2/28/2015
****OK…….. now i’m taking another minute This minute….
It was exactly One Year ago….  how strange is that?
I opened the email slowly in time, heart jumped, mind fuzzy.
Why would he be writing me after soooo long?  was it 2006
the last time i saw him?   He was calling himself Capitao,
something he was very proud of.
I reread it a few times, searching for more information…
Then i wrote back….
“hello Alcir…
How strange to hear from you after all these years.
So do tell me …just what is this ‘something’ that you are doing?
I’m sure you have a few somethings goin on!
Take care……..Carol”

“Hi Carol
I am sorry to have contacted you….i was drunk and had
received news that a lady friend of mine in the usa had passed;
i did got choked and sad and was somehow concerned about you….
….sorry again…i wish you all the best..but we should stay as
we were till now; there’s too much hurt and revenge in the
memory of the very bad times provoked by my self;
i do sincerely want you to be happy and live a long and
prosperous life.I do promise not to contact you anymore.
Best Regards
Alcir ”

My heart jumped…. No!  Wait…. (I think)… one minute here.

And i proceeded to write a note that reached out to someone
willing to be vulnerable and tender,  after so long.
“hi Alcir… no problem in your reaching out.  I honestly thought 
you wanted to work on your life story or something…
After seeing American Sniper, I actually said aloud to myself..
“his story is much better”… and that was last week.  Funny…
I have no desire for revenge.  I did everything i could, and 
stayed until i knew nothing would change.  You moved on 
quickly, and found a new life, perhaps one that fulfilled all
your boyhood dreams…
Yes, i will allow you to take the responsibility for some very bad
times, but we did have good ones too.  It’s always both… it just
has to be a lot more good than bad to work for me.  And being
denigrated and belittled has never been my style.
But i detect a teeny tiny apology there, and I will take it,
and thank you for it.
My life is happy, I am living in Point Arena again, and enjoy
good health and lots of friends… as well as enjoying a good
helping of alone time.  I have learned to really relish being alone,
and i consider it a sign of maturity and health on my part.
I wish you well too, to live long and prosper as Leonard would say,
and to finally be at peace with all that you have lived and all
that you are… a real handful, but a wonderfully unique individual
with great attributes.

…the poem…

After our notes back and forth, I of course sent him my number, and
very soon he called.  I have no remembrance of what we talked of,
just that it was stoney, heady, transporting.

The next day I received this email:

“I will published tonight kisses



Carol  !

Hear your voice

Made me feel capable of

Fooling the time

Flying around in a dream

Returning to days when life was truthful

And love dare to defy

All mediocrity and nothingness.

That surrounds and kill

The beauty that we can create

When we are living in love !


Your words touched my days

Of loneliness and sarcasm

Of cynicism and doubter

Hear you brought me back to a time

When love was solemn

And ruled my believes.

I remembered your taste

And the perfumes of us


As one.


Lovers of life

That discovered the fluorescence with in the movements

The beauty in the penetration of intimacy’s

The truth in the orgasm of souls.

I woke up to a dream

And I want desperately to live it as my life

I want you to be real

I  demand you to be the truth of my days

To be the soul that I never had

To be the light in my darkness

To be the love of my life.



Somebody to relay in the moments of doubt

A comfortable lap in the stormy nights

A truthful north in the dais of lost

A time of peace in a life at war.

Meet me in a timeless world

Were we can be ourselves

Were we are who we are

Were I can be a true man who’s capable to love

A real woman without limitations

Without lies

Free to become the most of our possibilities

Without the smallness

That these days

Impose to our lives.



I want blindly to be mesmerized

By your touch

By your mouth

By yours censes

By you coming

By your love

Be mine !