Author Archives

Aside by

ImageJanuary 1, 2006

Rio de Janeiro, on the island in Guanabara Bay…

Sunday morning is a disaster.  I was demolished, maybe slept
an hour at best, and can hardly begin to sort out my feelings.

Our fabulous NY Eve had turned into near disaster, with him
so drunk, more so than I’d Ever seen him, crashing into people,
passing out for 4 hours, leaving me in a strange country with
no idea where to go or what to do.  Thank God for the kindness
of Brasilians, all Two Million of them along Copacabana Beach,
for there were a few who knew 3 words in English and helped
me while I waited for Mr Wonderful to wake up.

When he awoke, it was dawn, and he was still drunk, and
kept asking me if I still loved him.   Once he awakened on the
street, we found the bus, walked home up the hill, and collapsed.
The same thing went on all day Sunday, him all pitiful and so
hungover,  but somehow we got through it.  Not pretty.

Monday, no one was working, so we stayed home, and I got sick.
Throat sore, coughing, sinus ache… tired… We slept a lot,
watched movies, and slept some more.  It was a good way to
avoid facing our reality from both sides, I suppose.

Tuesday we went for a long walk to the town area and stores
where we could get groceries, and I bought a great set of
stainless steel pans to replace the toxic antiques he was used
to using.  Here I was buying organic produce, and he was
using aluminum and teflon, with no idea what he was doing
to his gorgeous cooking.
He was a great cook, having learned at his Grandmother’s
side, and I remember fondly the way he would make cross cuts
on the half onion in his hands, using a small paring knife,
then make slices across to make little squares for his sauces.
He’d do it the way old people used to do, and beautiful hands
he had…brown and graceful and elegant, as he laughed and
stirred and tasted.

I am sick with fever, and after we walk home through the
old delapadated suburbs and put things away, he goes out
again.   He doesn’t just go out… he comes back and goes out
again, getting drunk, snorting god knows what, and getting
drunk again.
The third time he wants to go, he tells me not to let him,
to tell him Not to, so I do, and he lingers.
Finally I say…”want a massage?” and he melts.
“OK”…  and he falls upon the couch pads.
He falls asleep during the entire back side massage, and
sleeps deeply, quietly, the way he almost always does…
How can a man like him be so peaceful in sleep?

He wakes up speaking Portuguese, and I guess talking
himself awake from a dream leftover.  I laugh…
He does amuse me.

 

_______________________________________

Dead Man Awakening

by

Dead Man Walking

Dead Man Walking… an excellent film, with Sean Penn and 
Susan Serandan.  Couldn’t get much better, and the theme 
is pretty universal, when you get down to it… Live or give up. 

But this isn’t about the film, or even about the soundtrack 
cut with Bruce Springstein, which i share with you.   
This was the Name i began calling him, and for many months…

Alcir…………..something had happened while i was gone, 
and likely it was just an extension of what had been occuring 
for years, decades between then and now.  But he was 
different, perhaps showing me, or unable to Hide, a side of 
him that was complex, fractured, and unavailable to me. 
I arrived so full of hope, and the way i am, i always believe 
that it can work out, if we want it badly enough… 

So…. it’s midday.  New Year’s Eve has been told, and has
passed… so you know what i was left with.  
A very hung over, very still-drunk man, who was unavailable
to me.  I’d come 5,000 miles, and he held an equal distance.

 

————————————— 

 

by

MOVIE MADNESS # 188 NEBRASKA

Loving Indy films, I figured I’d once again trust the ole intuition,
and give this one a try.  NEBRASKA…….Highly Recommended!

Bruce Dern plays an older, slightly demented fellow who believes
it when he gets the subscription teaser that tells him he’s won
a million.  He’s so obsessed, he just starts walking to the big
city to cash in.  His son keeps picking him up, til finally he figures
he’ll just take him there, and settle the whole thing, which has by
this time, become a gigantic family issue.

The Mom is on the war path, the rest of the family is somewhat
strange in their own special ways, and in all it’s a slow ride into
middle American, and human idiosyncrasies.

Fun, funny, tender, and quite real, I enjoyed it immensely, and
came away with new admiration for Dern, and the director
Alexander Payne.  Seems this film got lots of awards, including
Best Actor for Bruce at Cannes.  If you enjoy Indies, don’t miss it.

by

Here I Am…………

Trust.  What a word…. encompassing so much.  I have always
tried to Trust… people, intuition, feelings…..  it is something that
comes naturally to me, idiot that I am….and that precisely
is how I got myself into this conflagration…. the Fire in Rio…
a Fire of the Heart.

I come, hat, heart and lingerie in hand, sure of myself and the feelings that were put on ice for the year we were apart.
I was the Keeper of Love, but I have such bizarre assurance of
what I know and feel, that comes somehow from within…..

I go to Rio, I hold to that Feel that is US… Us… and oh my
what a feeling, a knowing, a fire that could blaze through all of our visions, and onward to a future that has no boundaries.

Have you ever been with someone who you Know you can do
Anything with?  I mean, the two of you are such a nuclear fission,
fusion, crashing of dreams and raw energies…  and somehow in
your heart you just know it is fate and it was agreed upon so long ago, that there was no way this prior agreement
cannot be fulfilled.

So Here I was, after nearly a year of waiting and holding and keeping close to him and the agreement… to return to Rio, be together, find a way to co-create our life, and learn just who
WE Are together…
For when two blend into one, a new Entity is created…

So it’s Morning, and our NewYears’Eve has turned to a dawn
of Reality, neither of us had dreamed of or imagined.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

by

MOVIE MADNESS #199 … The BUTLER

This is a film you should See… it has every element necessary for a
film to be More than good, and worth the time invested.

The cast is stellar… Forest Witaker, Oprah, Vanessa Redgrave, on and
on the list would go.  The Story is Epic, chronicling the period of
violence and chaos that accompanied the Civil Rights Movement. 
It is true to history, and shows the complexity through it’s characters,
as well as some footage from the time itself.

The story is real, centering around a man who Butlered in the White
House through not only 50 years of historical times, but closely with
Eight Presidents.
By involving us in the lives of the characters who people the story, you
are able to clearly see them as stepping stones to where we are now,
as history gives each their changing perspective.

The cast includes many surprises, especially when Ike is played by
Robin Williams (subtle),  John Cusak plays Nixon  (excellent),
and Witaker works with Lenny Kravetz, Cuba Gooding, and Terrance Howard.

Throughout the backs and forths of leadership,  he remains true to
himself, always elegant and glad to be of service, in the most refined
way.  He is described as a combination of Henry Fonda and Colin Powell.
Oddly, we never see several of the Presidents, but Kennedy has a large
part in the changes that accelerated during his term, and is well played.
When Obama is elected, we are able to deeply feel the impact
of the moment.

Director Lee Daniels shows brilliance in his casting choices and his
clear ability to draw the best from each actor.
Highly recommended as Art, and as a brush up on the changes
we lived through.

_________________________________________

by

Back but Not …

This blog started as a running commentary on Dating sites.
Then it went in a direction that was not planned, yet one
that was in the card catalogue…
You know… that thing that you know some day you will write about………Someday.

And then that Someday became a train that I hitched a ride on
for quite a while….

Time was,  it was Time to get off that train… for a while at least.

Perspective.   That is what matters in life.  And perspective
depends on your locale, no matter the Bardot, the Time Zone,
the Chakrah….

So here I am, listening to Brasilian Jazz for the first time
in a long time…
I have avoided it… I did not want to go back to it….
go Back to it, to the emotions that the music lead me to. 
For many years, I used Brasilian music of all sorts to
take me back to that magical place that I had attained with
this person who had come into my life. 
And now, for years, I have pushed all of it away….

It’s called Survival.  It’s called Healing…
It’s also called something … oh,
and Right Now as I write, Jobim has come on Pandora, the
station that will be my slave and play whatever mode I choose…
And like I said, I am allowing Brasil to re-enter my reality,
because… although it represents Him… it also represents
the culture that I fell in love with many years ago, and
opened such beauty and rhythms and sweet language sounds to me.

Please…. I am a girl from the sixties, and I loved those days
when Samba entered our culture, and became a part of Movies that
are Dated by the Samba notes that are played as Party background.
I mean, check out Peter Sellers, and an early film… “The Party”…
which, if you haven’t Seen it… oh you Must!
It’s one of his Best, and Samba and those times just envelope
the film. It was a heady, sweet and naïve time, before Reality
struck. I am so glad I got to be there… But…
I am a girl of the times, and all those notes, those feels
go straight to my soul and to my Netherparts as well…

So now Jobim … and his brilliance, his iconic purity…
reminds me that Brasil is more… so much More than Alcir and
all he happened to bring to me….. I fell in Love with Brasil,
and was lucky, privileged enough to really get a taste of a
culture that mesmerized me for so, so long.

So I guess I am saying a few things… I still love Brasil. 
I am still in love with the Music that falling in love with a
Brasilian took me to…. and now I seek to, on one note,
Separate one from the other, and on another level, Allow me
to feel some positivity towards finishing my story about
my love affair with Brasil, and with this crazy Brasilian
who really in all honesty, fucked me over big time…
whilst bringing what I wanted, which was a true real visceral
experience of uniting with this culture.

And yes, still, I feel there are things that need to be
confronted, completed, shared, and yes, even enjoyed,
before this tale is over.

OH… and ps… I am now Listening to DEAD MAN WALKING
soundtrack, and yes, You Alcir know what that means…

 

————————————————————–

by

Movie Madness #80 … GRAVITY

I seldom write reviews of films I don’t love, but here I will make
an exception.

I not only did not Love this film…. I strongly Disliked it, and
might I suggest a new Title, perhaps ANXIETY in SPACE…?

If you want to stay nauseous and confused for an hour and a half,
sitting on the edge of your sweaty mattress and wondering if it’s
ever going to change, or go Anywhere, well this film is for you.

It Never Changes!  Sandra is basically Alone for very nearly the
entire film, goes from one crisis to the next, with never a moment 
for reflection, peace, or even conversation.

Spinning in space, flying disoriented in space, panicking in space, crashing into things and bouncing off in space, freaking out in space, thinking she’s going to Die in space, thinking she’d rather be Dead
in space, calling out for Anyone in space, fighting Fires in space, wondering why the Hell she was…in space.   
You get the idea.

I stayed through the whole bloody thing, thinking it would go
somewhere, change, resolve, do something different, but all
to no avail. 
I have never held the fantasy of being an astronaut, but this one
leaves no doubt.
I was exhausted in space.

I love Sandra, but….Don’t even bother….

___________________________________

by

MOVIE MADNESS #79 … The Place Beyond the Pines

ryan gosling

HEY, saw a really good one last night…
The Place Beyond the Pines…

Ryan Gosling is his dynamic self, so very much the new Steve McQueen, with his Daredevil motorcycle physicality, and that ice
blue Cool thing he’s got.  He’s great at playing dangerous volcanic types, living double lives and wrought with inner conflict.
If you liked  DRIVE,  you’ll love this one.

He’s only in the first half or less… and I was sad when I realized…
I am a big fan, and have made a point to see all of his films.
But then Bradley Cooper takes center stage, and the film continues
so smoothly, I found myself engrossed and didn’t mind….
Gosling’s presence lingers, with such a strong and intense impression left from his time on camera.

Dealing with the inevitable connections between fathers and sons,
in this film the generational aspects come to play in surprising ways,
and original twists.

Very well written, with some amazing young actors, (Emory Cohen, who was so very Brando, was my favorite;  and Dane Dehaan is so very Benicio del Toro dark), and I hope to see more of them…

It is one of those films that holds you til the end.
Excellent direction, writing and editing, with flowing and concise timing, and not one weak link.

__________________________________

by

Movie Madness # 78 … Soldier’s Girl

OK… I love film.  That likely doesn’t come as a surprise to any of you who are familiar with me, or my blog.  LOVE.
Once in a while a film comes along that I can say without hesitation…. Don’t Miss This ONE!
SOLDIER’S GIRL came as a complete and astonishing surprise to me.  I had caught a fellow in a film I enjoyed, and decided to see more of him.  Researching, I discovered his heritage, being the child of Jane Fonda and Tom Hayden, back in her activist days.
She may regret that phase, as she has the ones that came before, (like Barbarella, which she Hates, and which I LOVE), but I bet she doesn’t regret what ushered forth from that union.

Troy Garity is tops on my list right now as not only a Hottie,
not only an incredible and versatile talent, but obviously intelligent and going places.

SOLDIER’S GIRL is impressive right from the start.  It’s theme revolves around the contrast between a soldier’s life in Basic, and the girl he falls in love with,  a gorgeous transsexual with such seductive senses as to bring this boy to his own undoing.

She is brilliantly played with breathtaking dancing and charm,
as well as a ton of worldly wisdom.  He is an open book, and falls completely in love, with little thought or experience of what this really means.
Tasteful, without leaving out anything, tender and provocative without any touch of sensational, this leaps into your heart,
carries you along with them, and then down the inevitable path
that society presents.
This is a true story, a Love story, one of recent history, and if you see the Netflix version you can also enjoy commentaries and background that lend
even more depth to the film.

This is a dangerous subject that, with lesser Director or Stars,
could end up questionable, or worse…. tacky.  But only truth
stares you in the face, as you are swept along on this journey.

This is one of those Perfect Films.  Don’t miss it!